*~*ZeraH*~*

Por vezes sinto-me um pouco perdida, insegura
Por vezes sinto-me como o fumo do cigarro apertado, sem oxigenio entre os dedos daquele puto k passou por mim esta manha

Sometimes I still get scared... like now.

I'm tempted to think that at times u fool me and I fail to realize it
I never did knock on ur door w/ a bag of popcorn in hand
and never did we sit down to see where it'd go
See, u were a flirt right from the start, but swore the opposite
I miss the Monday coffee
I miss the shirt and tie u were wearing when u walked in w/ it that cup in hand
I miss looking at u for the 1st time and not knowing what to really say
so all I did was smile
I couldn't phathom what thoughts were lingering in those eyes
I wonder if that was part of the conquest for me to bcm another one in ur book,
just another chapter, maybe even just a paragraph, a small waste of a breath
No matter how I may dress up my words, I still feel like a little girl inside as they gasp for breath when I write them
(maybe that's me)
I miss noticing u thought of me during the day
I miss feeling that I am ur everything
I miss breathing in ur words
I miss having u concentrate on my face and just look at me and I miss reading all the words they spoke
I can't bring myself to elaborate any more on how much I miss u making me feel that I am ur everything....
And all the while here, w/ u I wonder why u've stopped being what u said u were....

To love, one must surrender oneself to the mercy of the other...

Ja nao somos iguais...

The rain clears any residue left behind by u
It washes away clean the memories and thoughts; the tears and the laughter
It erases us. We never existed.
You've vanished much like a footprint does w/ the crashing waves
Existias e eras tudo. I blink and we have bcm a blank moment in my life.
Vazio.
I want to scrub away any fingerprints of u still in my life.
Inexistente, tu.

Sometimes I wish I had words that would make your eyes cry, and hide from mine,
maybe u'd then regret doing that to mine
I just don't know how to paint my words anymore, they've bcm blank and the pages wither w/o life, and I hide
I can't break open the thoughts inside my head
I can't take the tears from this heart of mine and I often cry --- I...
My life falls w/ the leaves as I walk these streets and I don't know what to do, b/c all I had, I surrendered and that u took, too
Ha momentos k te sentes perdida, e este e um desses momentos onde respiro, mas ainda nao vivo
All I have is the residue of loving what I do, the residue of letting my words breathe for me; I have bits and pieces of passionate thoughts and indescribable moments where I would let myself go, and allow my pen take the wheel, ate ela me dizer k ja se sentia cansada de tanto se confessar
and even then, I would force her just a bit more, e agora ela chora dentro do porta-lapis, dentro da minha mala, ate no chao ela se encontra por vezes
I just can't break these thoughts--they make no sense sometimes
I suppress them, much like u would something u're ashamed of; I ignore them, much like u would someone u don't love
I hear the whispers of the cries from inside and I turn the tides so I don't have to be like them, and cry--
Como e k me podem comprovar k nao me mentem, se ate o meu coracao o faz?
Escondo-me atras do meu olhar, entre as paredes k continuo a construir entre tu e eu, e tu, sendo tudo em k jamais confio
Detesto k se facam em minha vida, simplesmente actores, onde a unica coisa k sabem, e o dialogo anteriormente memorizado
Cada dia k passa detesto mais este mundo, I displace myself from ur grasp, mas quanto mais fujo, mais perto de ti me encontro
K merda
I wish I had the words to leave u speechless, the words that would paint the most beautiful of thoughts, the words... palavras pra k vejas realmente o k sinto
It's bullshit not being what I wish I was, or who at one point, I was
Farta, farta desta porcaria onde nao se encontra ninguem k vale apena, ninguem k...
esquece...

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Kelly Clarkson